A story for the child who's jealous of the baby
The baby is finally asleep, and then your eldest knocks their beaker over. Not by accident. You can see it in their face: they want you to look and they don't much mind how. That isn't naughtiness, that is jealousy without the words.
A story about a new baby doesn't take those feelings away, and it doesn't try to. What it does do: it gives your child a character who wobbles in exactly the same way. A character who's allowed to be jealous, be angry and still be curious, without anyone saying 'but you're happy about your little brother, aren't you?'.
The story adapts to your child's age. A four-year-old mostly wants to know if there's still room on your lap. A ten-year-old says nothing about it any more, but is certainly counting how often you stand by the cot. Both of them get words that fit their age.
And it doesn't end with a child suddenly throwing their arms around the baby, over the moon. The jealousy is allowed to come back, even on the last page. What shifts is something else: your child has a place in the family again, one that doesn't depend on the baby.
And you don't have to get this perfect. You don't have to talk the jealousy away or carve out a special moment every single day. The story puts the feeling on the table, so you can mostly just sit beside your child.
What this story does
- Every feeling is welcome: anger, sadness and jealousy just as much as the curiosity and the pride.
- Your child gets a role with the baby that no one else can play, not even you.
- There is time in it where your child has you to themselves, in a house where a baby now lives.
- It ends in real connection, not in obligatory or pretend love for the baby.
How the story grows with your child
Choose your child's age and see how the same theme grows with them, from preschooler to almost-teen.
For a child who is 4-5 years old
Around this age the jealousy comes out plainly: the baby gets so much attention. The story shows a parent making special time set aside just for the older child.
What that looks like
While the baby sleeps, dad heads outside with the child alone. 'This is our moment, just the two of us.' And the child feels completely seen again.
For a child who is 6 years old
Now the feelings take turns: nice with the baby one moment, annoying the next. The story lets both be true and gives the child something special that is theirs to do.
What that looks like
The child hums a little song by the cot, and the baby settles. 'Look, he stops crying with me.' Ten minutes later they have had enough of that baby, and that is allowed too.
For a child who is 7-9 years old
At this age a child sometimes misses the attention of before and feels invisible for a while. The story helps them find a role of their own that no one else can play.
What that looks like
The baby is crying and no one knows why. The big one fetches the familiar cuddly toy, and suddenly it goes quiet. 'Only you knew that,' says mum.
For a child who is 10-12 years old
A child this age wonders more quietly where they still belong now the whole house revolves around a baby. The story shows that their place has not got smaller, only different.
What that looks like
The child got the baby to settle once and said nothing more about it. But when granny asks who manages that, mum points at them. They shrug and walk off with a grin.
Frequently asked questions
- My child really isn't happy about the baby. Is this story right for us?
- Especially then. The story never pushes your child anywhere. Jealousy, anger and sadness are all allowed to be there, without anyone waving them away. It doesn't end with a forced hug, but with a real moment of connection, however small.
- Does the baby appear by name?
- Yes. You tell us who is in your family and then point out which one is the baby, so the story uses the name you use at home. In the story the baby only does what a baby does: sleeping, crying, being held and wanting attention. No extra brother or sister gets invented.
- Will my child be written as the good big brother or sister who understands everything?
- No. There is no child in here who suddenly gets it and shares nicely. Your child is allowed to stay cross with the baby and still do the one thing only they can do. What they have back by the end is a place in the family that doesn't depend on the baby.
Related themes
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